July 2019 iPhone in Review

July held plenty of tears and miles of pain, yes, but also plenty of time with friends and leaps and bounds of healing too. Current mood at time of writing (early April, COVID 2020 status) = exhausted, long day of WFH (never thought I’d ever say WFH resulted in long days but here we are). I see a few June pics snuck in here, but I’ll leave ‘em be.

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April iPhone in Review 2019

April was another excruciating month in the book of my life but as of time of writing, it has almost been a year since April and here I am, surviving :) For April, I just did my best to try and stay busy with things to help disconnect me even temporarily from the emotional pain I was in from the breakup (and honestly through April, had been still at this point been led on to believe it wasn’t over, for 6 whole weeks). And it’s so crazy, I’m sitting in on a live talk meant to help people cope with this COVID-19 drama, and when I came into the convo, the speaker mentioned something along the lines of “if you can’t sit with your pain, you can’t heal from your pain”—this was in response to a comment about reliance on affirmations but applies so well to this hole in my heart, even now… Life always finds a way. ;)

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Wildflowers, Butterflies, + March 2019 iPhone in Review

March started out rough just like any other busy month— lots of overtime at the day job and lots of photoshoots trying to save up as much money as possible to be able to have more mobility. It sucks having to be an adult with responsibilities, it sucks not having mommy and daddy to hand out payments for even the essentials or student loans, but that’s the life I’ve known for half my life already. And sadly I guess it wasn’t a life my now-ex really understood the gravity of. Toward the end of the month, my whole life turned upside down. Now as I’m writing this, the end of March and exactly one year since the breakup that shattered my life, my heart and soul, my feelings of self worth and confidence, and anything else you could dream up, it’s STILL hard to deal with. I’m nowhere near the level of pain I endured throughout all of 2019, but I’m not out of the woods just yet. These are just a few iPhone or other shots that I was able to muster together for the March hodgepodge and iPhone in review. Bless that little love note from Mom—I kept that thing up on the door for a month until it lost its sticky and fell off. Every day that passes I take as many baby steps as I can. Mourning is a wild ride, my friends.

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