Iceland 2019 - Days 3 +4

Day 3 of Iceland was otherwordly. I worked up the courage to rent a car and drive about 6 hours outside of Reykjavik to go scope out the countryside. In a perfect world, my ex wouldn’t have been an ex, and we’d have gone together and I’d have made a badass vid while driving through, maybe even would have driven the whole island (it takes about 13 hours)! But I did what I was comfortable doing and even that was so emotionally filling. I saw some of the amazing Icelandic horses and sheep, made a few stops to some sights to see, STRUGGLED AT THE GAS STATION LOL (you’d THINK it was the same as it is here in the US, HAHAHA NO.), went to the glacier lagoon and touched an actual glacier (dooope), flew the drone (where it was legal to!!!) and visited a couple waterfalls :) YO. Skogafoss is 110 million percent worth the hype. It’s breathtaking and badass. It’s ginormous (it’s freezing from the back draft). And you can make the hike to the top (it hurts but it’s worth it!). I was there about 10 at night and the sun was still out LOL. I wish I flew the drone here but I wanted to be respectful of the rules PLUS that draft would have destroyed my poor little UFO with all that moisture.

Day 4 I was finally able to be with PEOPLE and boy did I need it. I was surrounded by so many wonderful women (and one guy who attended this workshop) who were so kind and empowering. Jamie with Evolve Workshops is the best and her vibe definitely attracted this tribe :) A couple of us went to check out a crater lake before we all met up for dinner and check-in at our hotel in DT Reykjavik.

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This here is a portion of the footage I managed to capture on my first solo trip to Europe; the first stop of which was Iceland. It wasn't supposed to be sol...

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We’re doing the post playlists a little different this time - for the Iceland/Paris trip posts, I’m sharing the playlist I made to survive the trip. It has since grown and expanded to include Barcelona (which, at the time of me writing this just happened, in December 2019), and all future trips too! Enjoy xoxo

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Iceland 2019 - Days 1 + 2

Leg one of a 2-week European adventure trip took me to Iceland! The first few days were simply spent checking in, getting used to the new timezone and the sun, like, never setting, exploring my temporary new hometown (Kopavogur) and walking many, many, many miles (kilometers!) over to Reykjavik to explore for the day. Art museums, cemetery, local towns, PUNK MUSEUM (!!!), new development, I saw and absorbed as much of the city life as I could. Traveling over from LA was made much more pleasant by my ex’s vacant seat (aka extra desk and sleep space) and the most amazing aisle mate who was going through some of the same BS in her own life, in her own ways… Even in the darkest nights, life gives us starlight.

It’s funny how so much can change in such a short amount of time… Though the last year and a half-ish has been EXCRUCIATINGLY painful, I always need to remind myself that healing is never a linear path. I have some good days now, still some awful days, some numb days, some pissed days, and an endless pasta bowl (TM) ((LOL)) of nightmares about my ex. The paragraph below was written about 8 or 9 months ago when I first prepped this blog and when I was in a really pissed stage. I was about to delete it as I reread it now that I’m finally ready to post, but then decided I’d leave it—anyone following along knows that these blogs serve as a visual diary to my life. Whether anyone looks or not, I don’t know… But if anything, I hope they serve to show my clients-past/present/future- that I’m a real human, I go though things and I’m strong as hell for it; life isn’t the cute little curation you see on my insta feed… you know? So now I laugh a little at how I was feeling (okay, truly, I shudder that anyone was allowed into my precious little life that would put me through this), but it’s still all valid and definitely part of the healing process.

[[ having read the above paragraph/disclaimer, proceed… lol! ]] It wasn’t supposed to be a solo trip, but unfortunately turned out that way when my ex decided a beautiful almost eight-year relationship wasn’t worth anything or worth putting the real work into (I got the tired old excuse, “I don’t like confrontation” LOL WHO DOES BUDDY) and took some other random “girlfriend” he lied about to some place we HAD JUST GONE a few months prior. I’ve never, ever gone through this much pain because of someone else. I’ve suffered abuse that wasn’t this bad—I think it hits so much harder BECAUSE I trusted this person, 110%. I opened up my heart and soul to them. I made it clear I was in it for the long haul. They led me on into thinking they wanted forever too, lied during the breakup, needlessly and cowardly extended the breakup, and then VERY QUICKLY attached themself to someone else and let their codependency reign supreme… Which was all a huge slap in the face. They criticized me for not speaking about feelings enough, and when I finally did start to, I got criticized for doing so. They claim to be some fabulous communicator and are in school to be a psychologist, but couldn’t be bothered to take the time to truly listen to what I had to say or to help me navigate my newfound emotions that I was trying my best to verbalize. Must be so niiice to oh so easily throw away a significant other who had stood by them through sooo much, and lose out on a trip of a lifetime… hope he’s so thrilled with his decisions and has a greattt life. I’ll be so much better for it, for all this solo badassery. I’m just so sad I wasted my time and my heart and soul on someone who didn’t even want it. :/ shrugs

ANYWAY, ON WITH THE AMAZINGNESS!!!

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We’re doing the post playlists a little different this time - for the Iceland/Paris trip posts, I’m sharing the playlist I made to survive the trip. It has since grown and expanded to include Barcelona (which, at the time of me writing this just happened, in December 2019), and all future trips too! Enjoy xoxo

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April iPhone in Review 2019

April was another excruciating month in the book of my life but as of time of writing, it has almost been a year since April and here I am, surviving :) For April, I just did my best to try and stay busy with things to help disconnect me even temporarily from the emotional pain I was in from the breakup (and honestly through April, had been still at this point been led on to believe it wasn’t over, for 6 whole weeks). And it’s so crazy, I’m sitting in on a live talk meant to help people cope with this COVID-19 drama, and when I came into the convo, the speaker mentioned something along the lines of “if you can’t sit with your pain, you can’t heal from your pain”—this was in response to a comment about reliance on affirmations but applies so well to this hole in my heart, even now… Life always finds a way. ;)

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